So, instead, here's a list of things that do not belong on a patty melt. I would even go so far as to suggest that adding them to a patty melt makes it not a patty melt, but rather a "patty melt style sandwich."
- Bacon. Sorry. It's tasty, but no.
- Mayo. WTF?
- Fried egg. No. Why would you do that?
- Two patties. It's "patty." Singular. "Patties melt" sounds like "attorneys general." Sure, that's syntactically correct, but it sounds silly.
- Vegetables. Onions don't count, as they're clearly founding members of the sandwich.
- Other sauces. Do you put mustard on a grilled cheese? If so, you're wrong. Stop that.
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| Seriously, I'm so out of stuff, I had to put in this terrible Brock pun. |
- I'm not kidding. Some sadists out there actually think that you can put mayo on a patty melt. Look at this shit. It's not even fucking toasted.
- I mentioned this before, but I just love the "fuck you" of it so much, I had to post it again. Plus, if "low income" is $80k a year in this county, and people are worried about crime and drug dealers, then those same people probably need to punched in the face. Elitist douchebags.
- Ok, let's figure out what this meal includes. Pudding, salad, olives, juice? tomato soup?, coffee, shrimp fucking cocktail?, pot pie, mashed potatoes, peas, bread, butter, two crackers. Two crackers? Cheapskates.
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