I need to meta a post: Debt Ceiling Analogies

Don't read this unless you're linking from the other article posted today. Sssh. Secret stuff inside.

Thursday: Today I have stories

Mind you, it's not that the stories are particularly wonderful or anything.  First, let's look at the sandwich I made for lunch.

Turkey, cheddar, lettuce and tomato with some bbq sauce.  It was a little bit too big for my mouth.  Super tasty though.  I'll probably have to do it again tomorrow.

Second, I got a call today that the apartment below mine had water leaking in, and the manager wanted to come inspect my apartment.  Oddly enough, this morning I noticed a drip on my bathroom wall coming from a puffed up patch near the ceiling.  I decided I would call my manager this afternoon to let them know that I thought that the apartment upstairs was leaking into mine.  I guess it's largely skipping my apartment in favor of downstairs.  Upstairs just renovated their bathroom a few months ago.  Looks like it didn't work right.

Next, as I was leaving work, I decided to stop at Long's to get some soap.  As I was walking over, I saw a cat heading into Manoa marketplace.  It had a really neat coat, with whorls and spirally patterns. I then did the only sensible thing, and sang a little song to myself: "Meow, meow, kitty, what are you doing?  Meow, meow, kitty, doing some shopping?"  I had apparently been sneaky ninja walking, because the cat immediately turned around, saw me, freaked out, and ran away.  Seems like the shopping wasn't that important.

Finally, as I was checking out at Long's, I got behind an old lady.  She refused to put her birthday card on the belt, instead carrying it to the far side of the scanner, making the check out girl bring it back to scan.  She then had to be told the price multiple times, each time claiming, "How can it be $28? It's only one card?"  C-O girl then replied, "No, two dollars, eight cents. 2-0-8."  Old lady then pulled out two ones, and then scavenged her purse trying to find the eight cents.  I would normally have started to get annoyed, but instead, found the entire thing hilarious, largely due to the fact that C-O girl was already pissed at this lady.  Failing to find the coins, OL switched to trying to pay with a check, causing the price routine to be repeated.  Next, she had to go over the date a few times, for some reason convinced it was January 6th (no word as to the year she thought it was).  She then had to be told who to make the check out to ("LONGS!"), and then tried to steal the pen she was given.  When asked to see her ID, she stood there for a moment, and then flipped open her wallet so COG could write down whatever information they write down.  Finally, she asked for the pen back so she could balance the checkbook right there.  That was the point where I was pretty sure that COG was going to jump over the counter and kill the old lady.  Once she was done, and I had finished checking out (which, since I used a card, took fifteen seconds at most), COG slammed down the "Register Closed" sign and went off to take a break.

Then, dinner time!  I had a brilliant idea this afternoon.  First, take some waffles and syrup:

Next, add a pile of leftover pulled pork:

Finally, chop up an apple, because there's no way you can convince yourself this is at all a healthy meal:

I thought this was an original idea, but it seems that the food truck people have beaten me to it.  Crap.  In any case, this was extraordinarily delicious.  My thought upon eating it was that my tongue felt like a puppy had just curled up to nap on it (that analogy totally works).

• Squirrel!
• Infinite puppy?
• Pizza club is the best club.
• Chef Mavro cooking on TV this morning.

This post was way more work than it is really worth

Yesterday, I posted this picture, and claimed that that was what I ate for dinner:

Unfortunately, this wasn't as obvious of a pun as I'd thought.

"A...dog...in...winter?  Some sort of....iced dog?" 

"Ice cream dog..."

"Baby angel princess, Batman?"

"I asked you not to call me that, Robin."

"Gosh, Batman, what can it mean?"

Holy shit, I've become the fucking Riddler by accident.

This is the least creepy picture I could find of the Riddler. 

The correct line of thinking was supposed to be:

• A dog in the snow.
• A cold dog.
• A "chilly" dog.
• 

Also, little known fact: finding a picture of Robin punching his hand like in picture #6 is fucking impossible.  I had to go to youtube and screen cap it out of an episode.  WTF, Internet? You're supposed to have everything easily indexed for me to find and steal without any effort, I mean just listen to Rupert Murdoch.  Would an evil billionaire sociopath lie on twitter?

Side note to Rupert: a lot of your movies suck ass. Yet you still seem to have made a pile of money on each of them.  Apparently "risky as hell" is equal to "I could shit on a plate and still gross a hundred million dollars."  Besides, you probably think that my elaborate Batman joke above is copyright infringement, and I should be paying Time Warner (through their subsidiary DC Entertainment) for the right to make a joke using their characters. This is why no one likes you.

• You know that episode of the Simpson's where Mr. Burns is told that he has so many diseases that they fight against each other, making him unable to die?  I feel like that, but with jokes, for this story.
• This all looks really good, so I may have to try this place out.
• Another restaurant that looks really good.  I have a Mexican place I usually go to, but it never hurts to try new places.
• I'm glad someone made a gif.  I found a link to the address yesterday, but by the time I'd gotten there, Google had already blurred out her entire body so you couldn't see.
• I also got vaccines yesterday at the doctor.  I can now go step on rusty nails all night long.
• This is another brilliant pun.
• I always think this, but since I don't know the next time I'll be flying, I'll just put it here.
• I kind of want to do this homework assignment.  Some days I miss not ever having classes again.

Examples:

• "I'd bet Perry $10000, but I only carry like $60 on me at a time."
• "I'm not buying votes, I'm being helpful."
• "Remember, it's class warfare if you ask millionaires to give money to the government to help lots of people."
• "Poor people just need to know how to stalk presidential candidates. In front of cameras."
• "God doesn't not love no double negatives."
• "God told me to pray (to God) for someone else.  Isn't this the definition of micromanagement?"
• "I'm sorry, did I accidentally fire you?"

Tuesday: sleepy sleepy

Nothing here today, because I got home, took a two hour nap, and then made a bowl of soup and had that instead. I think my cold is making an attempt at a flanking maneuver into my left ear.  That means I probably need to buy more drugs tomorrow.

Drugs are the artillery of the Verdun that is having a cold.