Showing posts with label I am not a crook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I am not a crook. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Wednesday: I finally got a clean build!

So I can maybe check that off as done for this week.  Yay!

I also remembered that there's a semi-secret Xbox thing that gets all the screenshots, so I can show:
Markos wanted me to kill this guy.  So I did.  Markos didn't care that I'd brought proof.

"Look at what I did for you, Markos!"

Continuity error on the dead guy, I guess.

I'm also good at parking my horse.

Super good.

I've only killed it once, and that's the wolf's fault.

And I finally got to a romance dialog, and I screwed it up by being all "great is as great does."  Apparently that's not the right response, and when you tell her that, she gets all angry that you want her to go do great things herself, and that cuts off future quests?  In the future, I'm saving before every potential romance, doing my best at it, and then resetting if I need to to sort it out. 

Also the sunset was nice today.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Thursday: Things I should have done like two months ago.


  1. Get a new driver's license.
  2. Get my car re-titled.
  3. Get my car registered.
  4. Register to vote.
  5. Change the oil in my car.
6. Have pizza.
But now that is all done, and although I still need to change my plates, all the difficult stuff is sorted.

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Saturday: You know it's bad when you need to take a second shower.

Today was KBBQ day.  I love KBBQ.  I will miss KBBQ over pretty much everything else in the Bay Area.  If I was forced to eat KBBQ everyday until I die, I would laugh every day at the folly of the jerk who thought AYCE KBBQ would ever be my downfall.
I'm saying it's good, because it's good, and there's a good variety, even though we usually focus on just three things.
Also, everyone always thinks that I'm forcing myself to cook the meat.  Would I accept someone else cooking?  Sure.  Am I going to make someone else do it so I can eat?  Nope.  Am I missing out on eating?  How are you missing the point that I control the tongs?  I can eat whatever I want by just not advertising that the brisket is done.  It's in my tummy now.  Did you want it back?  Didn't think so.

Then I kind-of illegally parked in a space without feeding the meter, and sat to watch this couple illegally park in front of a hydrant.
 Jerks.  Then we passed out for most of the afternoon, because of meat, and because of the heat.  Today was pretty bad.  So we did the sane thing, and went to Target to hang out and steal their A/C.  I did not buy the thing I needed, but bought some snacky stuff.
Then pizza, because someone always wants this, but doesn't want the pizza, but wants the ice cream token to get gross bubblegum ice cream.
 Seriously gross.  Then we did more packing/cleaning/decluttering, which taught me how to dismantle an Ikea Brimnes, so if I get that, I should be able to assemble it as well.  It's pretty simple.
This is Julie's "Best Salt Ever."

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Thursday: And that's how I got a parking ticket.

Ugh.  Whatever.
Now I have the parking pass, so I can park in the lot.  Which, of course, means that there's only a week left here before I have to start my grand migration.
Pasta.
 Because pasta is good.
My new phone can check my Clipper Card correctly.
Although I'm probably loaning it out next week.  It'll clear out some of that value.


Thursday, March 2, 2017

Thursday: The daystar will kill me.

Pearl Harbor.

I earned a medal.
What was lunch?  Oh yeah.  Burgers.  It wasn't that bad, and was more filling than expected.
Then more beach.  You can see the rain coming.
 I could not figure out how to fold the beach chair I borrowed from the hotel, and then transposed room numbers when returning it.  The sun is a space demon, who steals reason and sense with near blackbody radiation.
The sunset was rather nice after the bulk of the rain passed.

We then ordered way too much food for dinner in Hawaii Kai.
Tasty food, but far too much of it.
And I stole another sock when I did laundry yesterday.

Friday, November 4, 2016

Friday: Ugh.

Apparently this was eight years ago today.
Two odd things I discovered looking through old photos for something to use today.  First, a bunch of photos from when I moved in May 2009 seem to have today's date set for some reason.  Secondly, nine years ago I took a photo of Julie's driver's license.  Why?  I have no clue.

I also have a fun story about driving home today.  I was driving down the street as usual, when a car pulled out of a driveway, and stopped right at the edge of the street.  However, this was done without bothering to look anywhere, resulting in a biker having to drive off the sidewalk into the street to not get hit.  I stopped, since running someone over isn't something I wanted to do.  The other driver waited for the biker to pass, and started to pull out again (since I was stopped) nearly hitting a second freaking biker.  Apparently looking to the right to make sure you don't kill two people is really hard to do.


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Wednesday: Remember when it rained yesterday?

Guess which part of the ledge outside my window got wet.  Bonus points:  which part is slightly lower than the surroundings.
Reading Julie's post today reminded me why I hate python so much.  My initial thought to "how to call a shell script" is system.  Or backtics.  Since you probably care about the return results, backtics would work better.  I guess you could do an open on the command with a pipe to read from the output of the pipe, which is basically what backtics do, except the open is line-by-line.

But, of course, that's in the sane world of perl, so you google "python perl backtics," because this is obviously a question everyone would have.  Then you get this, and see that there's an os.system module that's basically the same as perl system, and os.popen, which is basically backtics.

Except os.popen is "obsolete," and you're supposed to use subprocess.Popen, which is "the correct way to do it."  Double except you probably should be using subprocess32 backport of the 3.2 subprocess.

Which is all bullshit.  Make a thing, make the thing do the thing, then leave it the fuck alone.  Don't keep re-engineering it "to be better."  Don't deprecate something and then come back with "oh, well, you should update your code to the newest version of things.  As far as I can tell, the only major removal between C from 1872 and the newest C11 standard are:

  1. Old functions that returned int didn't need to have that defined, as that was assumed.
  2. gets() is replaced by gets_s(), because gets() can cause buffer overflow issues that are major security issues.
That's it.  Like 139 years, and two things removed.  Perl is similar.  Remember when I mentioned the thousand ways to do this easy thing in perl?  I left out calling the IPC::Open2/IPC::Open3 modules.  Perl is ugly precisely because it's flexible.  There are legitimately five different ways to get the output of a shell script.  Why?  Because sometimes doing it way 1 is easier, sometimes you really need to use way 5.  Taking things out "because that's the wrong way" is how someone tells you that they think you're stupid, and that you need to do things the way they say you should.


I've noticed that a lot of the computer programmers I've met over the years seem to think that "just redesign it" is the solution to lots of problems.  Like there's an objectively perfect solution to every problem, and even though this solution works, it's wrong to not look for the perfect one.

Fuck that shit.  Sure, my Frankenstein monster bleeds from its eyes, and can only drown a child if it's also simultaneously pissing itself.  No, that was not the design.  I don't care.  I made a monster to terrorize the villagers, and if the details are a bit off but the villagers are still terrorized at the end of the day, I'm not going to complain.

  • This is why I think I have all the DVDs for the Superfriends show.  Because sometimes Green Lantern has three arms, sometimes Batman can fly, and sometimes everyone needs to go rescue Flash from the Legion of Doom, including Flash.
  • I'm not a big fan of elephants, but they do have this going for them.
  • Adventure Time.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Saturday: Ramen and Taxes

After doing basically nothing all day (except yelling at flash game developers for not understanding how to construct a difficulty curve.  A Heaviside function is not what you should be aiming for.), I decided I was either going to get pancakes or ramen for lunch/dinner.
There were gyoza as well, but they were gone before I got my ramen.
 Then some quick grocery shopping.
Did you know that the staircase at Safeway is one of the best places to take photos of Diamond Head?
Finally, since taxes are due this week, I sat down and threw numbers at pdf forms until I had my yearly "I have made my best effort at your stupid forms, The Government" attempt.  I appear to have magically sorted out the withholding crap last year.  I owe the federal government $15, but I'm getting $25 back from the state.  Compared to the last two years, this is pretty good.




Saturday, March 29, 2014

Saturday: Lazy Day

First up, I had to defeat the dreaded lunch.  I eventually came to the conclusion that wings were the right choice.  That meant going back to Wings and Things.  Since the main issue last time was the wing format, I decided that it would be a good idea to come prepared.

Note the knife I brought from home.
This was definitely a better solution than trying to dismember the wings by hand.  It does have the unfortunate side effect that you have to carry a knife wrapped in a paper towel home.  That doesn't feel like you're trying to find a place to drop the murder weapon.  Not at all.

My issues this time weren't the absolute worst.  The fries could have spent more time in the fryer.  They weren't as crispy as previous batches.  They also still have the issue that the hot sauce is really more of a medium.  Still, not the worst lunch ever.

Then after failing to get pumpernickel, then finding pumpernickel elsewhere, I decided it was time to work through the DVR.  On top of the queue?  Finishing up Pokemon Black and White.  I'd gotten through the badges, and the tournament, and the Team Plasma arc.  This mainly left the filler episodes at the end of the season.  As is the usual case, Pokemon filler episodes are really better than every other kind of episode, because they just dump a bunch of one-off shit into the episode, and call it a day.  For example, there's an episode where Oshawott becomes King of the Oshawotts in a contest, and episode where a Pokemon pretends to be a Nurse Joy and an Audino, and keeps switching between the two illusions when TT ask for the other one (I am sad I didn't gif that), and one where everyone in town gets mind controlled by alien Pokemon.  Did any of that do anything or mean anything?  Nope.  Just some random shit that happens to Ash and Team Twerp.  Yes, Ash comes to town, and you have a ~1/1000 chance of being mind controlled along with the entire rest of town.  He lives an interesting life.

There was also an episode where Cilan's brothers have fucked shit up, and they need him to beat a challenger or else they lose their gym.  This means he has to fight an Abomasnow, and I kept hearing it as Obama-snow.

Unfortunately, end of seasons mean the end of the travelling companions, which is unfortunate, because I think Iris and Cilan have been the best companions since Misty and Brock.  From their last episode together, I present, "Team Twerp is Dumb."

I mean, this is literally the worst disguise that fooled them.  "What? How did that fool anyone?" James walked up dressed as another character and asked to see everyone's Pokeballs.  Just after "totally all of Team Rocket" landed.

And, as a counterpoint, "Team Rocket is Dumb."
I think this had to be small to not have the filesize be huge.  Basically, TR attacks (it pauses on their balloon) Ash at Professor Oak's, just as he's released all the Pokemon from this season so they can live with Oak.  He just says, "Ok, everybody, just do, like, whatever, you know?  There are like a dozen of you, and you've all done this before."  It pauses on the explosion too, just because that seemed fitting.
And now I'm caught up to where I wasn't when I watched the episodes I'm watching now from XY.  The answer is Not-Misty's mom.


  • There really is no benefit for consumers in the Comcast/TWC merger.
  • I saw this episode today, so I'm again linking to this gross looking burger.  They don't deep fry the outside bun burgers.  So, they're not even consistent with the clear instructions.
  • Yes, Darmok is really the shittiest episode of TNG.
  • I disagree with this.  Sure, no one else likes Tree Trunks, fine.  That explains why those are so low.  Ditto Slime Princess.  But Box Prince?  That gets a 6.3?  WTF?  The episode is just Finn projecting onto a bunch of cats.  Who doesn't love that?

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Tuesday: Fuck tuesdays while we're at it.

I woke up this morning to discover that my back felt horrible, because apparently my "new bed" only lasts almost exactly one fucking year.  The problem is that all the springs are isolated, and then topped with a squishy layer of foam.  However, now it feels like two of the rows of springs have separated, and the squishy layer of foam is gone (possibly down into the spring gap).  Now I need to do this test myself, confirm that it's above the 1.5 inch threshold, fill out a complaint, and then probably pay a bunch of money in shipping costs because I live in Hawaii and beds are heavy.

If I ever have the chance, I will murder everyone involved with mind fire.  The fire of the mind.  Where you look at them, and your sheer hatred causes fire to erupt inside them.  Where they probably weren't expecting to have fire that day.  Resulting in mind fire murder.

For now, I've rotated the mattress 180 degrees, so the pain spot is now in "blanket and pillow collection land", and the undisturbed spot that was once B&PCL is now where my back will be.

One more thought on this rant:  They arrange the springs into columns and rows.  That's fucking stupid.  What's the best packing for circles in Euclidean space? Pseudo-hexes.  You shift row/column 2 relative to 1, thereby increasing density and forcing fractures to zigzag along.  Sure, the edges are weird then, but who sleeps on the outer two inches of bed?



Saturday, January 11, 2014

Saturday: Excitement on the way to sushi

I noticed a security guy walking all purposefully while heading to sushi.  After putting my name on the list, I discovered that there actually was something going on:
I guess those guys tried to steal from the ThinkerToys?
 Yep.  Thinker Toys.  The place that sells a bunch of toys that don't really look like they're much fun, but they also have some board games.  Well, did have some board games.  They seem to have replaced them with goth jigsaw puzzles.  Who tries to shoplift there?
Those guys, I guess.  Looks bad for them, since the real cops showed up.
 Then I had sushi.
Om nom nom.
 On the way out, I noticed the Sanrio store, and thought I'd take a picture of what it's like.
Kitty.  Kitty everywhere.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Thursday: A bunch of things, apparently.

Part 1: Import/Export.

Yes, this is one of those "drugs/money/guns" shots.  Except this is coffee/salt/nuts.
I think I have everything I need for this.  I'm mailing out packages tomorrow since I think my options are either 1) Mail a bunch of this ahead of time; 2) Not bring clothes in my suitcase.  So, easy decision.

Part 2: Music in Movies.

I guess there are a bunch of shitty action-y movies coming out?  Or on DVD?  Whatever.  The point is, that when I watch actual TV instead of DVR TV, they're advertising all the time.  However, all of these movies use the same kind of loud stinger soundtracks, kind of like Inception and Star Trek 2(a) did.  This is dumb.

This link goes to Bach's Air.  There's a bunch of dead time at the beginning for some reason.  Now, here's a bit from End of Evangelion.  I don't think that's the actual movie sound, as I thought there were words.  Still, it shows the Asuka vs the production evas fight, which I know was set to the Air.  You don't need a constant pounding soundtrack shouting at you "THIS IS ACTION!  THERE IS A FIGHT GOING ON NOW, AND THINGS ARE HAPPENING!  BOOM BOOM BOOM!"  You can see the action, you can see the rage in Asuka's face, you can see the destruction and gore of the battle.  This isn't some stupid shooty-shooty-bang-bang fight.  She slices off that's one's arm, and when it doesn't stop, she twists its fucking head to kill it.  The music complements the video.  It doesn't just tell you the exact same thing.

If you can tell the story in pictures, you don't need to shout at people to get your point across.

Part 3: Goats.

This commercial plays a lot too.


So:
Totes my goats.

Part 4: Another Let's Make Up Stories.

I did this before.  Here's the original picture.

 Then I make up stories.
Even in the 60s, liberals were fighting their unholy war on Christmas.

"Oh yes, this child you picked up will work perfectly.  Great Cthulhu will be pleased."

"Wait, why the fuck did I just buy a christmas tree at a grocery store?  I'm going to have to take this on the bus to get home.  I'm going to be that guy. On the bus.  With a fucking tree."

"I SAID, THE COMMUNISTS ARE STEALING OUR FREEDOM!  I'LL STAND OUT HERE WHILE YOU SHOP TO PROTECT YOU!"  Also, look at the right side of the image.  You could get grocery concierges in the 1960s.  They'd advise you as to which canned processed food product was the best.

"What the fuck did I buy that would fit in this box?"

"Freedom!"

Part 5: Links.


  • Source for that image.
  • I'm increasingly happy that I no longer live in Michigan.
  • I saw this in the RSS today, and it made me realize that I don't think I've watched food network in a very long time.  Maybe like a year or so?  Now, if I want to watch cooking shows, the internet gives me far better options.
    • Food wishes.  Yes, he puts cayenne in everything.  Almost everything he makes looks good, and almost nothing he makes seems like you have to have years of cooking experience to do it.
    • Sorted food.  Not quite as consistently good recipes, but they cover the humor/social interaction side of a cooking show better than anyone on food tv.
    • The handle it part of epic meal time.  Obviously over the top, but their once weekly handle it thing presents an actual recipe that could reasonably be made.
    • Nicko's kitchen.  Not something I always watch, but that's partially because he's themed by day, and not every theme works all the time.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Wednesday: The Supreme Court

Specifically, killing them.

Hang on there, Secret Service.  We're doing it statistically, so it's just an math problem.  No one is actually getting hurt, and I mostly did it to see how soon it's likely that there will be a vacancy due to death.  Someone could resign at any time, and that would make a vacancy, but that's not something that can really be predicted.  Death is a bit tricky, too, but due to the fact that despite the best attempts of some people, we still have a government that collects piles of data, so we can use the cohort life expectancy data from the Social Security Administration.

From that data, we're going to use the "High-cost" columns, and use the "at age 65" data.  The logic behind this is based on two facts.  First, the majority of the difference between the "at birth" and "at age 65" expectancies is due to infant mortality and things like that.  If you survive to 65, you didn't die as a baby.  The supreme court is universally comprised of people who did not die as a baby.  The choice of the "High-cost" is that being a supreme court justice is a pretty good job, so they're likely to have good health care.  The final assumption I have to make is that people born before 1940 have life expectancies similar to those born in 1940.  The table only goes back so far, and I don't really want to extrapolate it.

The next assumption is that the probability of surviving a year is based on the logistic function, largely due to a lack of better options.  The form I chose was P(age) = 1 / (1 + exp(-(expectancy - age))).  This sets the 50% probability at the expectancy age.  I could scale it, but I don't have any good idea of how to do that, so I'm just letting that be 1.0.

Using this table of birth dates and ages, we can make the following plot:
This shows the probability that that justice is alive.  I'm sorry that this claims Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 52% dead.
Ok, using these probabilities, we can plot up the number of justices statistically alive by simply summing these curves:

This suggests that (barring the Senate being absolute dicks), Obama is likely to appoint two justices.  His successor falls into a generational gap between the Breyer and Thomas, and isn't likely to appoint anyone, even in an eight year term.  It's fairly linear over the next five terms, with about one each term.  This assumes that all newly appointed justices are younger than the current youngest, and that we're only concerned with the current set.

So again, barring the Senate being absolute dicks, we should have a significantly more liberal court within the next four years.

Batman and Robin are happy about that fact, too.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Oh, here's an interesting idea:

Let's say I'm a casually amoral multinational finance corporation.  The number I've been hearing for the Cyprus bailout is something like $13e9.  That's like 10% of what Apple (which is not actually a financial corporation, but still) has in cash, on hand, so that's not an excessively large amount of money.

So I'm casually amoral, and have lots of money that could be used to fix the Cyprus debt crisis.  Why would I do that?  Well, maybe you take out a pile of put options on the Euro.  The idea being that you promise people that you'll sell them Euros at today's price sometime in the future.  When that time comes around, you buy Euros on the open market, and fulfill your options.  This is what "shorting" something is.

Now, you have a pile of put options on the Euro, so you need to do something to ensure that the Euro price tomorrow is lower than it is today.  I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure that stepping in "out of the goodness of your heart" to help the people of Cyprus where the European Central Bank and Eurozone partners have been unable or unwilling to do so would throw a series amount of uncertainty at the ability of the ECB to solve future crises.

Basically, you crash the Euro by suggesting to people in a dramatic and obvious way that they're unable to solve problems on their own, and use that crash to make more than your initial investment in the bailout.  Plus, you probably have some leverage to get repaid by Cyprus, although since you've decimated their currency, that's unlikely to get you much.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Saturday: And I thought I wouldn't have anything to post today

Piikoi and Davenport.
I was eating dinner when I heard the tires squealing and then a horrible crunching sound.  I got to the lanai in time to see someone in a white pickup truck with a cap backing up slowly from this car that they had slammed into.  Since no one got out of the car, I assume it had been parallel parked with Captain Crashy smashed into it.  My first thought was, "huh, this guy is going to run," based on the fact that he never put on hazard lights, or got out of the car, or anything of the sort.  And, as you can tell by the lack of white pickup truck in this picture, he totally ran, despite the shouts of "hey!" from various people nearby.

So that was kind of exciting.

No.
"Oh fuck!"

  • Botswana.
  • I guess it makes sense that showers weren't always a common thing.  Still, the idea of a booklet called "Once-Used Water" is a bit silly.  I also like the creepy stalker "would you mind mentioning your plumber's name?"
  • I guess I have something in common with Mitt Romney.  We both like Boston Market.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Tuesday: Can we all just agree that Tuesday is by far, the most jerk of a day ever?

I think the facts speak for themselves on this one.

Wasn't planning on posting this, but I clicked too fast when uploading.  Anyway. Just so you know. You're Grr-ific!

Is this too large? Too bad, I like this kind of 3D movie.
 Which concerns me, because I kind of want to see the new Silent Hill movie, but if it's going to be only available in 3D, then I'm not going.  Because I'm old and cranky, and hate wearing silly masks that make the movie annoying to watch.
Hm.  That seems somewhat unlikely.  Let's ask some experts
Care to comment Randy Butternubs and Lady Quietbottom?
Double links since I didn't want to add them to yesterday's post:
  • I've met business douchebags before.  You can pretty much tell exactly when you start talking to them that they fit firmly in the "business douchebag" category.  Shit like this makes it clear to me that this category also contains Paul Ryan.
  • Joe Biden is the greatest VP ever, not because of what he does or says, but because he's only slightly less macro friendly than cats.  Plus, laughing at your opponent during a debate does win extra points in my book.
  • Catwoman.
  • The system isn't really stable, and although everyone seems to realize this, there's not much in the way of solutions.  I would like to present a modest proposal: Allow the formation and funding of Mad Science Institutions.  After the first few years, they will probably be able to accumulate their own funding through some secondary scheme.  Plus, Mad Science has a known set of dangers not found in the standard set of projects.  Spies, ninjas, mutant dogs, congressional inquiries, inexplicable vats of acid, and accidental teleportation incidents are just some of dangers that are greatly more likely in the Mad Science field.  This ensures a constant need for replacement scientists, easing the current grad school/post doc job pressure.  Besides, imagine the conferences.  Every talk would start with, "The Fools!  The absolute Fools! They said I'd never do it, but I DID!  Behold!" and then like laser bunnies or something.  Plus: laser bunnies.  I think this is a win-win-win situation.
  • This kid has unusual concerns.
  • I really want this.  Given that I need to replace my DS anyway, it might be more worthwhile to buy the 3ds thing, and then glue the 3d into the off position.  Choices.
  • Grown up jobs.  This ties in with the previous proposal. Mad Scientists can pretty much science in pajamas if they want.  It would almost seem weird if they didn't.
  • 1) disagree; 2) agree; 3) disagree; 4) agree; 5) agree; 6) agree, but with the added comment that once a solution exists, the mystery is gone and the project quickly becomes boring; 7) disagree.  What do you think?
  • Because yesterday's Adventure Time was pretty much terribly perfect and other contradictory thoughts.