Tuesday: I just don't know.

Today was supposed to be so good.  I mean, I got to sleep in.  Then, when I left, I had a tiny gecko friend on my car:

Tiny gecko friend, you should not be on my car! You could get hurt!

So I scooped him up with a piece of paper, but then he jumped onto my hand, and I panicked and flipped him off, but geckos are resilient, so he seemed ok.  Then I had to stomp around him while saying "boogie-boogie" to make him walk from behind my car to under the truck next to me, which is a safe place, because it's suspended and hasn't driven in years.

There may or may not have been a person who came into the parking garage while I was doing this.

And then I voted:

And I can post this because it's legal to do that in Hawaii.

I then had to go to the doctor, who told me "it's probably not a big deal," but not until after I had to go through the dual horrors of "eyedrops" and "having someone actually tap on your eyes with a thing made for tapping on eyes."  That is one of my biggest fears, and I hated every second of it.  Also: I probably should get new glasses, because they don't put gamma on eye charts.

Then I went to get lunch, and it was all fine:

Happy cute little frogs!

And yummy ramen!

And by the time I got home, everything fell apart and has been descending into chaos ever since.  I have no idea what's going to happen, because my default model of the world has "active racists" at like max 10%, and it now seems like the true number is something like 50%.  As far as I can tell, the end of civilization goes like this:

1. George Bush fails to win a second term in 1992 because he's not super popular, and a third party candidate eats up enough votes to knock him out.
2. This causes the Republican party to freak out, and decided they were cheated out of their rightful presidency, allowing lunatics to take over the party.
3. To the point where they attempt to impeach the usurper for having an affair, despite the fact that the Speaker of the House was actively having an affair, the Speaker who replaced him was having an affair, and the Speaker who replaced him molested students.  Children.  The guy being the morality police molested children.  Let that sink in for a moment.
4. Somehow this meant that Democrats had bad morals.
5. A bad president is then elected, largely due to the alleged "lack of difference" between the candidates.  He proceeds to ruin the economy, start a bunch of unpaid wars, and pass unneeded tax cuts for the wealthy.
6. Everyone loses a lot of money.
7. We elect Obama, and part of the country decides that despite common sense, he's going to try and destroy the country and kill them.  He instead makes it easier for people to get medical care.
8. That part of the country elects a useless Congress that opposes everything, on the principle that if nothing gets better, people will blame the President.
9. He gets elected again, and continues to not kill people or destroy the country.
10. People become increasingly terrified of an undistinguished "other," which eventually coalesces around "people who aren't white," who they feel are getting free things while they are being held back.
11. Gay people are allowed to exist, and after confirming that trans people do not spontaneously erupt into swarms of death bees, they are allowed to exist as well.
12. This sets the racists off even more, because they have to let people live without shame.  This cannot be allowed.
13. A terrible old man dies, but Congress refuses to let a perfectly qualified person replace him, because they can't stand the idea that gay people can exist.
14. Britain decides they'll try racism out as well, because why bother actually working on problems.
15. A sufficiently well distributed almost 50% of the country votes for a sexist moron who doesn't have any position other than "let the hate flow through you."
16. Because Hillary was cheated on?  Or was a lawyer?  Or had opinions?  I refuse to attempt to understand this level of sexism.

So now to speculate:

1. Nothing is done about climate change, and this is really the most major point, because at least we've doomed ourselves to die, so it's nice that there's punishment built in, even if the people who did this will probably die of natural causes first.
2. People decide it's perfectly ok to discriminate, and without a proper Supreme Court, there's nothing to stop this.
3. I am terrified of the number of people I follow on the internet that may not be alive because of this in the next 1/2/4/10 years.

And the worst part, is that nothing is going to get better for those racists anyway, because they reasons they're upset (gay people exist, black people are allowed to be president, women aren't property, jobs that once existed went away so the things those jobs once made can actually be affordable) aren't things that you can fix.

I'm torn about my trip to SFO later this month.  On the plus side, I get to see people I love, and be in a wonderfully diverse city.  On the negative side, I have to figure out some way to apologize for the hell world my generation and those before me are leaving to a wonderful little four year old.

There will be no more Pokemon links, because joy has fled, and only anguish awaits.

• So I got "Neutrois," which is fine, no problem, but I really had my heart set on "Taco".
• Fuck you, Glen Beck.  You were feeding those people lies to enrich yourself.
• I'm so sorry.
• This is why I've started trying to stand at a distance to people on elevators and things.  I know I might look scary, and I try to be as non-threatening as I can.  Do I sometimes make beep-boop sounds when I push elevator buttons?  Sometimes.  Usually only when I'm alone.
• I'm so sorry.
• So sorry.
• So very sorry.
• Fucking scum.
• Facts, but I guess that has never mattered anyway.
• Here are some dogs, because at least dogs are still wonderful.  I'm sorry, dogs.  We let you down, and you deserved better.  I mean, you've been with us since we started this civilization idea, and I know you'll stick with us to the end.