Friday: Some people should not be allowed to drive

Case in point: old guy at the doctor's office parking garage this morning.  First problem, he was about 90 years old, and was therefore something like four feet tall.  Second problem, he was driving a brand new F-150, which are apparently 98 feet tall.  Third problem: despite the parking garage having a simple "spiral up, then spiral back down" design, he got lost.  Everywhere.  Come to a corner you have to turn around to do that "spiral" thing?  Stop.  Look all the ways for twenty seconds.  Come to the point at the top of the spiral where there's a tiny set of spaces to the left, but you have to turn right to go anywhere?  Stop.  Look both ways for thirty seconds, or, until I honk at you and gesture in the only damn way that isn't "off the fucking roof".  Come to the place where there's a sign clearly indicating "exit ->"? Stop.  Read the sign.  Have a tiny nap, or something, because fuck everyone who has things to do today.  Come to the place where you have to pay and turn in your parking ticket thing?  Stop, put on your turn signal, and drive into the lane marked "express pass only."  You know, for the people that work there?  Then, realize that you've driven away from the only person who can take your stupid ticket, and roll down your window and ask him why he's so far away.

Just stop, old man.  You're too old to drive, and you probably shouldn't have bought a new giant-ass truck, you dumbass.

In better news, I saw this guy in the hall at work today:

I don't think he was dead, but he was very convinced that he shouldn't move.

• Reasons this guy is wrong:
• Pandas are cute, and we should support that.
• Lots of species have been driven to extinction.  Maybe it's worth not doing that for once.
• Who cares if it costs money, as zoos probably have done the analysis and discovered that having a panda ensures more people visit, making up for those costs.
• If we're unable to ever reintroduce them to the wild, then we're really just talking about how long it'll be before they're domesticated enough to be pets.
• If you don't want a pet panda, you're a horrible person.
• Last line.
• Seven miles.  Then again, I used the cheat that I remembered that Damascus is basically at the same latitude as the boundary between Israel and Lebanon.  Second step: name two bodies of water in Israel. a) Dead Sea, b) Sea of Galilee.  Look at the map, remember that Lebanon has fuck-all in terms of lakes, so that top-most one must be Sea of Galilee.  So that's Israel still, and you still need to fit Lebanon and Syria before you get to Turkey.  That means the border can't be too much more north of that.  Next, cities aren't deserts.  So, that smudge to the East must be Damascus.  See, simple, and it only takes a pile of random geographic facts that you can cobble together into a functional picture of the world.
• This is kind of cool.
• Good job, Texas.  Nice to see you've discovered that dumb actions have expensive consequences.