Monday: Headaches

I've had this one since about 2:30.  I am done with this headache, and would like to return it for store credit, please.

Squirrels are quiet and soft.

• And we know that even though you can get a free creature that shoots flame from its mouth on your tenth birthday, there are still guns because they still can't show that episode where Ash catches like a bazillion Tauroses because it's also the episode where Gunny McTriggerhands is all pointing guns at everyone, but no one cares that Ash's best friend is a cute walking-talking-electric chair.
• Jake foot at the end.  And his name is also Ash, but he's a jerk.
• At least he's probably warm.
• This is something that I now realize is also a fairly easy math problem, as it's just a latent ability model.
• This one, specifically.
• I kind of hope someone at Universal was fired for buying the rights to Namor.  I mean.  Fucking Namor.
• Storytime: when I was a kid, we had an Apple 2 computer, and it had a handful of video games.  I've covered one before.  In any case, I've periodically been searching to try to identify another one, which was a text based rpg.  My word array for google has been [gumby,polearm,budget game], because I remember we bought it from some end of the aisle display at like ToysRus or something, and that we got it partially because it was like $5 (and those other words are memorable for a kid).  It was fucking impossible, largely because as a kid, I could never figure out how to get the character to take the sword or whatever he bought, and use it in anyway against the monsters.  This made the game kind of a test of the random number generator, because sometimes the monster would run away, and then you could loot whatever was left.  This is the game, which was apparently a knock off of some other game.  What pissed me off when I saw it last night is that youtube video: since the person playing was familiar with the original game that this one copied, they knew there was a "help" command that would list the other commands the game knew.  You can see the instruction sheet, and how that's not mentioned anywhere.  This explains why when you'd type "use sword" it'd give you some bullshit response, and when you'd say "attack" it'd give you a different bullshit response.  You have to "prepare" the sword first, then you can attack.  Who the fuck is going to figure that out when they're 9?