Sunday, November 24, 2013

In which I make very particular complaints about people who are doing something they think is fun


Ok.

Sigh.

You've clearly tried something, but I'm sorry to say that I think you've failed horribly.

First, let's consider who you're appealing to.  Me.  Guys 25-35 that have played Silent Hill games, and are most likely single.  I'm unhappy, so maybe you something didn't go right.

Second, the music.  This doesn't even seem like a knock-off of Yamaoka's music.  Most of his rock is slower, with a strong beat that supports the minor key much better than this avant guitar screech.

Third, they're the nurses, right?  Where are the knives?  The nurses stab.  They stab and stab and stab and stab.  Except for those that have pipes to smash.  Smash and smash and smash and smash.  Dancing around in messy nurse costumes isn't really Silent Hill.

Plus, (four), you do that undressing thing where you take off the blouses.  Imagine that with knives and blouses made with snaps.  A quick pseudo-stab to your chest, and the blouse falls off.  Christ, do you even understand choreography?

Five, this entire video seems like you're doing less of a tribute to Silent Hill, and more of a tribute to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance video.  Instead of a random twitchy thing, try a "step...step...step...step, step step...step...step...step."  Doing things on threes is unusual, and alternating slow and fast keeps things unbalanced.

Six, the ending.  Really?  No.

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