Tuesday: I wish people were less stupid.

I really need to find an image library so I can make this automatically.

I saw a link to this story today.  TL;DR: old people are stupid, and in their stupidity, are buying guns to protect themselves.  First thing I googled, "how much of a criminal hellhole is Austintown Ohio".  Surprise answer?  "Like basically not really any crime at all."  Then, using my think-mo-tron, I decided how much easier things would be if there were a single place that would have lots of crime statistics, so we could look it up.  Some sort of government bureau, tasked with keeping statistics about justice.  Oh wait, because we have a functioning government, that's exactly what we already have.

So let's look it up:  how much crime do old people suffer from?  Table 5.  "Less than everyone."  But what about this document explicitly on "Crimes Against the Elderly"?  Surely that's going to tell us how much crime old people have to worry about, right?  Ok, fine, old people.  Table 7 says you're more likely to be attacked by a stranger than any other age category.  Then again, I can probably counter with figures 3 and 4, which show that old people have always been the victims of less crime, and no matter what, crime has gone down in the last 20 years.  By a lot.

It would have been nice if James R. Hagerty had actually put some of that information into his story.  I guess working for the Wall Street Journal means you don't actually have do journalism anymore.  

• Blah blah, this is just for the gif of Supergirl realizing she has ice cream now.
• This has all the other good gifs from that episode.  I can't believe I forgot the Ikea table thing.
• This is another review of that stupid Batman/Superman movie.  That movie probably has neither Ikea tables nor ice cream.
• I made the mistake of reading the app names when I should have been paying attention to the icons.
• Ducks.
• I want BMO faces on my shoes. :(
• These are all wonderful pictures, but I can't make captions for all of them.
• Except number four.  "Come on, Steve.  God wants you to take a long hike."  "Whoa whoa whoa, Steve.  I have, like, six pizzas getting delivered.  We better skip out on all this 'hike' nonsense.  Besides, it's not like that's going to be easy with your sock/sandal combo there."