Wednesday: Linda Lingle: Totally Competent

I mean, I think everyone kind of figured that out when you decided that the only way to do things was to not have schools open on Friday.  Because fucking over the future is pretty much the Republican way, right?  It's not like education is fucking important or anything.

Then I saw your new political ad, making me remember why I watch everything on the DVR now (spoiler alert: to not watch stupid commercials).  It starts with an old guy typing about how he's scared about Social Security and Medicare.  Oddly enough, he's talking with a moron, so I'm not sure why he's concerned.  Clearly he has all the answers (assuming those answers involve voting for someone who is running on the concept that she's not as bat-shit crazy as the rest of her party.  Like she's not going to vote with them when it comes time to turn Medicare into an underfunded voucher system?).  Plus, he has a magic chat program that can change his words:

Doot doot doo, typing away!

WHOA! Magic Chat has changed my words!!

 So clearly, she's spending her money on only the finest video production an underfunded high school A/V department can provide.  The old guy then claims she did a good job managing the state's money (see above, re: not having school on fridays), so he's apparently been living in a box.

The thing that really bothered me was this final scene, where Magic Chat apparently summons the head of Linda Lingle to claim she approved this message:

 But, wait.  Linda's all perfectly aligned for my TV screen, not the computer screen she's apparently being displayed on.  Let's see what she looks like with the perspective of someone looking at the computer:

Yeah.  That's how everything shows up on my computer too.  Leaning slightly to the left.  Wait, no, because that's not how reality works, Linda Lingle.

Seriously, if you can spend your money buying an entire TV channel to dump your crap all over, why can't you spend some of that money on someone to check to see if you're making a fool of yourself.


Ok, now let's post something that isn't fundamentally incompetent:

Like this guy. Get that, Linda Lingle? I think this squirrel is better than you.

• Red pandas!
• Fun at the RNC.  First: I suspect then banner said "Vagina: Can't say it, Don't legislate it"  Clearly the only thing you can do with that is burn it.  Fire's really the only way to be sure no one knows biology.  Second: "Paul ’16!" Really? Doesn't that automatically suggest that you don't actually expect Mitt Romney to win in 2012?  Are you really that stupid, The Republican Party?  Oh.  So that's a yes, then.
• Just because I didn't have a third thing, and I was thinking it while writing this post: "X is bad and you should feel bad."