Friday, May 16, 2014

Friday: At least I have two days before I have to fight that stupid supercomputer again.

This is the key that flew off my keyboard when I hit it.  Multi-million dollar fucking supercomputer, and I have to be the one to point out that one of the four randomly selected connection hosts is down?  I spend an hour trying to figure out what I changed and the answer is "no one noticed that we sometimes send your requests to the trash"?  Fuck you.
And then I came home and watched this TV show: Mission to Kill.  I've seen three episodes or so, and they all follow the same track.

  1. Someone is clearly an Asshole, and does obvious asshole things.  One of the Women in the background seems to be listening way too closely to the asshole scheming.
  2. Someone else (we're going to call them "the Victim" for soon to be obvious reasons) needs money/assistance/help finding their puppy/something.
  3. The Victim befriends the Hero dude.  This usually happens at the same time the asshole does something so mean, the townspeople get angry.  The Cops show up, and settle the situation.
  4. The Victim decides to ask the Asshole for help.  This is often the only bad thing the Victim does.
  5. The Asshole betrays the Victim, who objects, and gets stabbified until dead.
  6. Oh yeah, there's an Old Dude and a Young Dude.
    1. That's Old Dude in the picture at the link.
  7. The Woman, the Hero, the Top Cop, Old Dude, and Young Dude gather in their secret hideout.  The Victim conveniently left some money sitting somewhere, as a way to thank his friend the Hero.  The team divides the cash and leave.
  8. The Asshole is partying about how wonderfully he's assholed it up this time.  The Woman is there, and signals when to start the plan. Old Dude and Young Dude murder up any goons that could screw things up.  Hero sneaks up to the Asshole, and uses a giant needle to stab into the Asshole and puncture his heart.  I'm not kidding.  They go x-ray vision so you can the needle stab the heart and let out a little poof of blood.
    1. X-ray vision.  So you know exactly how the Asshole died.
  9. The Top Cop shows up, and picks off the Toady.  Yep.  Top Cop is also clean-up assassin. WTF?
  10. The Victim's family gets a letter so they know he's dead, and the Murder Squad go about their daily business with kind of knowing "Man, I love murdering assholes" looks to each other.
  11. There's this weird side story endcap thing, that I think is the Cop's family?  He tells jokes and things, letting you know that after straight up murdering an asshole, while pretty much having the opposite of that as his job description, he's still just your normal everyday psychopath.
I should DVR it next week, and point out how that episode fits to this format.  Plus: then I can screenshot the X-ray murder.

Today's links are a bunny, and then a bunch of "no."
  • The bunny.
  • First no: this is not how shows should be run, but is totally how they are.  "Missed Target Demo" has to be the dumbest part.  People are watching the show, but they're not who you wanted, so you cancel it?  Just sell the stupid ads to someone else, dumbass.
  • Second: Koffing.  Koffing doesn't care, he's happy all the time.  Putting him at #137 is just wrong.  I'm guessing they used the "look cool/powerful attacks" strategy to rank things, thereby missing out on the most important part of the Pokemon world.  I'll sort together my own list tomorrow.  I have all the data, I just need to put the Pokemon into categories, and then sort them in those categories.
  • Third: Godzilla for the NES is one of the very few NES games I actually still have (somewhere in my apartment).  That's because it's wonderfully done.  If this dummy can't get through the first level, he doesn't know how to play video games.  Godzilla is built like a tank, and you have four different attacks with him.  Some of the boss monsters are cheap (I never found a way to defeat Gigan with Godzilla.  You have to use Mothra, because you can avoid Gigan's chest sawblade), but there shouldn't be much of a problem to play.  Yes, it's not super colorful, or advanced, but compared with other games at the time, it's not bad.

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