Two weeks ago, they murdered all the teachers at a school. Because they were all corrupt except for the one clean teacher that the other teachers had killed. Corrupt teachers. Apparently you can be corrupt in inventive ways in Japan.
Last week, Young Murder Guy fucked up his kill, had to smash the target's head in with a rock, and totally got caught by a cop. But not one of his fellow Murder Cops, a proper "let's solve crimes and track down bad guys before sending them to some kind of trial" kind of cop.
I assumed YMG was going to get sentenced to death or something. Because that would make sense.
Nope.
MT5 doesn't bother with "making sense" when it can stretch things out.
This week, they recapped the end from last week, but then suddenly Murder Guy throws a sharp needle at the regular cop to make it look like YMG is innocent, and then Old Murder Cop wanders over complaining about he was just nearly knocked over by someone running away. And then OMC tells RC that he knows YMG, and how he's a real cool and totally not a criminal.
And with that, it's like last week's cliffhanger never happened.
Except when RC stops by YMG's place to say that they're still investigating things, because everyone in that house was dead when they went inside, and that's really odd. Oh, and by the way, YMG, this lady I just met was asking about you because she's your mom.
YMG was an orphan, and blah blah blah, this lady is not at all his mom. We know this because she goes and gambles and has some sort of plan to do something to fool somebody to money something whatever no one cares.
But it's somehow essential to have YMG go talk to the guy they're trying to fool and talk to him as her son.
YMG's son thinks things are weird, and doesn't trust Not-Mom at all, especially when he sees her talking to people. He tries to convince YMG, but YMG is dumb. So, the kid takes his money to go hire Murder Team Five to murder everyone to protect his dad. The kid knows to do this because he's the real son of a victim from an earlier episode that YMG adopted, so he knows how MT5 works. I'm not entirely sure that he knows his dad is part of MT5 or what. I don't think so, because you would probably just ask your dad's murder friends to help if you thought he was in trouble, and not hire them.
Anyway.
The kid's right, and NM and her gang somehow can't wait any longer, so instead of whatever money something whatever they were going to do, they just send in thugs to kill that guy and steal all his money. Why they didn't start with that instead of going this YMG-scam route is an excellent question.
MT5 meets up to plan the murders of the bad guys, and YMG shows up and says that he'll take NM. Because he really wants her to be his mom. Even though Murder Woman did her research and has some proof that she's a crook. MT5 agrees, and murder murder murder, and then we go watch YMG.
YMG tells NM that he knows she's not his mom, and that he wants her to turn herself in. She agrees, and then falls over and claims to have hurt her leg, so she can't walk anymore. YMG agrees to carry her to the police station. Can you guess what happens?
"He gets his stupid ass stabbed by the knife she's hiding?"
He gets his stupid ass stabbed by the knife she's hiding. I'd already ranked you the worst member of MT5, YMG, but this is just ridiculous.
The ranking is of course (low to high):
- Young Murder Guy. For shit like this.
- Murder Cop. He's just a bit too "let's go murder people" about things.
- Murder Woman and Old Murder Cop. It's a tie. They sit back and comment on everyone else, and are just wonderful to watch. OMC probably edges things out just because he's actually the same guy who was in the original 1979 show of the same title, so he's been doing the MT5 thing for thirty years.
- Murder Guy. He has the best way to kill people, he justifies his actions by claiming it's justice, and he's basically just Batman. A murder-y Batman. So kind of like Batman.
Anyway, NM totally taunts YMG about how stupid he is, and that she'd never turn herself in because she's a master criminal, and now he's dead and the only thing worse than being stupid is to be dead and stupid.
Except he's not dead, he has the strength to pull out his murder string, shoot it up and through a cherry tree, and then back down around her neck. He pulls her up into the tree, using his last strength to pose with the string around his hands, so her weight on the string balances his corpse. Then MC arrives to cut the string, and they both fall down.
The credits scene is MT
WTF, MT5?
And while I'm thinking about eyes, NM's actress could not keep her eyes still when she was "dead." It was kind of funny to watch. "Excellent, I've fooled them into thinking I'm dead! I am the best con artist ever!"
- Snorlax.
- Wendy's. Also: Pokemon.
- I had a similar reaction to this story. I can't imagine that anyone would try to make a Captain Marvel movie. Ever, pretty much.
No comments:
Post a Comment