Sunday, June 28, 2015

Why is this so complicated?

My upstairs neighbor has again switched wifi channels to the same fucking one I use.  This, of course, completely fucks with my wifi throughput.  All of this, despite the fact that she has an N channel that I expect she actually uses for things, since that's faster.  This makes her use of the G channel that I use essentially just interference.

So I thought, "I should just get a wifi card that supports N, so I can switch to that, as that space is largely empty."  I look online, amazon has a decent card for a decent price.  I then think about looking to see if I can just pick one up tomorrow someplace locally.

Dear every store that has an actual physical store I could go to,

I don't care what you can ship me.  Amazon can ship me everything in existence.  If I want something shipped, I'm buying it from them.  They're going to beat you on price, and they're certainly going to beat you on hassle.  If I'm on your webpage, I want to know if you have a thing in a store, so I can plan to go to your store to buy it.  Don't bring up bullshit like, "ship it to the store!"  That's stupid.  You're stupid for even suggesting that.  Yes.  Let me give you more money, spend more time futzing with shit, and then have to drive to your store to pick up the thing.  That's far nicer than just having the thing show up in my mailbox.

I mean, is there anyone in retail management who isn't a fucking moron?  Don't try to copy amazon, because you're going to do it poorly.  You have actual stores.  Have your webpage be completely tied in to your inventory systems.  That is the thing you have on your side.  Inventory close to where I currently am.  Anything that doesn't leverage that actual shit, in an actual store, is missing your only fucking advantage.

Let's talk about the only companies that I can think of that seem to realize this.  Grocery stores.  What's at Safeway?  Food.  A bunch of fucking food.  If I want food, I can be confident I will find some there.  What do I see if I look at the Safeway webpage?  Some fucking ads about what they've got.  Here's a little play.

Me:  Hey Safeway, what's going on?
Safeway: We've got a bunch of fucking shrimp this week!  Want some fucking shrimp?  Like $10/pound.
Me:  Wow, I kind of want some shrimp now!
Safeway:  Damn right you do.  We've got peaches too.  Ready to be fooled into thinking you like peaches before being disappointed how fucking messy they are to actually eat?
Me: And how!
Safeway: How about chips?
Me: I have chips.
Safeway: Do you have cheddar and sour cream lays?
Me: Like ruffles?
Safeway: Nope, the regular thin ones.  Fuck.  Even I didn't know they made those.
Me: So I can get that gross "just ate cheddar/sour cream chips" mouth-feel without paying the ruffles premium?
Safeway:  $2.99 each when you buy four of a set that was apparently put together by a lunatic.
Me: Why am I not buying food right now?
Safeway: Fuck if I know.

See?  Safeway is telling me what they have at their store right now.  They're not telling me that they can deliver bananas on Tuesday, or if I'd like, I can get some plantains from their "marketplace resellers."

This isn't hard to understand, so why isn't it clear to everyone who doesn't have to throw their products into the trash if they don't sell them fast enough?

No comments:

Post a Comment