|And then I realized I have enough Meowth candies.|
|So I made a Persian.|
- Title: At the Mountains of Madness
- Date: 1931
- Summary: An expedition to Antarctica splits up, because Scooby-Doo hasn't been invented yet. The A team goes ahead, and finds a cave with odd creatures frozen inside. They did them up, and take them back to their camp to dissect and investigate. They radio the details back to the B team, who forwards it on to their ship. However, the next day, the B team can't raise A team on the radio, so they fly out to do a rescue. The A team camp is destroyed, and everyone is dead, with both one person and one dog dissected as well. "The frozen things woke up, didn't they." Yep. But B team doesn't believe that to be true, so they follow the tracks, and it leads them to a ancient ruined city. They read on the walls of the city all about the frozen things (which obviously work better not frozen), and gets a lot of details from the walls, which is kind of where you call "shenanigans," because I don't think you're going to get this story from there. In any case, the frozen things used to live there, when it was warm, and also beneath the oceans, until they got hassled by the star spawn of Cthulhu, because that jerk ruins everything. Despite being indescribable horrors in every other story, this one presents shoggoths as living machines that can make and unmake anything, and the things made them to do all their work, since the things seem kind of awkwardly constructed. There's a big thing about giant penguins, which when I reread it, totally surprised me. In any case, the B team finds the frozen things, which are now "all ripped apart" things, and realize that the voices they heard are the shoggoths, who eventually tired of doing all the work and killed all the creatures (except the penguins, I guess [and the ones that got frozen outside, too]) in a kind of horrible monster-on-monster communist revolution.
- Real Villain: The Proletariat.
- Last line in italics? Yes.
- Writer writes instead of fleeing? No.
- Rating: 9/10.
- Read it: Here.
- Not Pokemon.